equalizing sexism: star trek edition

numbtongue:

Since J.J. Abrams is suddenly so concerned with coming across as sexist in Star Trek, and seems convinced sexism can be solved with what (he believes to be) equal-opportunity objectification, I’d like to offer a few suggestions as to some other changes he could’ve made to STID to even things out a little.

  • Every replicator on the ship begins to produce uniform shirts two sizes too small. The dress-style uniforms remain unchanged.
  • Every unnecessary railing on the bridge is removed and replaced by  comfy chairs with cupholders from which members of the crew may sit and witness the magnificence of their Captain’s ass in action whenever they please.
  • Carol Marcus ends that scene by phasering Kirk directly in the balls, and breaks the fourth wall when she stares the camera down and says “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHIT.”
  • Additionally, she begins her own five year mission of discovery re: just how legendary Dr. McCoy’s hands are. The audience is invited.
  • In fact, Dr. McCoy just spends the entire movie shirtless. No explanation is given, as none is needed.
  • Uhura is carried everywhere on a golden litter by four Engineering ensigns, with a fifth following up in the rear carrying a boombox playing Beyoncé on a constant loop.
  • (the fifth guy is totally Spock)

Additions are welcomed and gratefully accepted.

cosmo tip #676

expertcosmotips:

if he believes in the friend zone then you should put him in it

roseisreturning:

mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths

"I’m not J.J. Abrams, who’s ultimately responsible. I’m just his Asian puppet. Which, by the way, is also the title of my autobiography."
—

John Cho (x)

yo my heart is racing at the guts it takes to say something like this knowing full well what could happen. damn!!!!

(via strugglingtobeheard)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood

"

This is a Holmes knocked from the pedestal of the dispassionate gentleman detective. His relationship with his addiction forms the core of his character, of secondary importance only to Watson in his development throughout the season. And Jonny Lee Miller’s fantastic incarnation of Holmes makes sure we feel the weight of addiction in a show that takes it seriously. He suffers the aftermath, and must face the realities of recovery — no easy thing for a man who trades on the illusion of invincibility with all the gusto of the Conan Doyle original.

Also keeping him humble: his supporting cast. There’s a popular misconception — the fault of many an adaptation — that Holmes is a supergenius accompanied by an admiring everyman and surrounded by dunces. Conan Doyle’s Watson and Gregson would beg to differ, and so this Holmes lives in no such vacuum; he’s never the only clever person in a room. When he reveals his addiction, Gregson (not unkindly) points out that as a detective, he had that covered. His sponsor Alfredo’s skills in the repossessionary arts outclass Holmes’s by a mile. He acknowledges Moriarty as more than a match for himself. Even housekeeper/librarian Ms. Hudson has the effortless memory to which Holmes aspires.

And in Watson, he’s found an equal — and that’s what the show’s not-so-secretly about.

"
— from io9’s excellent analysis of the first season of Elementary - Elementary Demonstrates the Right Way to Update a Classic Hero (via gallifreygal)
"I had an auto-repair man once, who, on these intelligence tests, could not possibly have scored more than 80, by my estimate. I always took it for granted that I was far more intelligent than he was. Yet, when anything went wrong with my car I hastened to him with it, watched him anxiously as he explored its vitals, and listened to his pronouncements as though they were divine oracles - and he always fixed my car.
Well, then, suppose my auto-repair man devised questions for an intelligence test. Or suppose a carpenter did, or a farmer, or, indeed, almost anyone but an academician. By every one of those tests, I’d prove myself a moron, and I’d be a moron, too. In a world where I could not use my academic training and my verbal talents but had to do something intricate or hard, working with my hands, I would do poorly. My intelligence, then, is not absolute but is a function of the society I live in and of the fact that a small subsection of that society has managed to foist itself on the rest as an arbiter of such matters.
Consider my auto-repair man, again. He had a habit of telling me jokes whenever he saw me. One time he raised his head from under the automobile hood to say: “Doc, a deaf-and-mute guy went into a hardware store to ask for some nails. He put two fingers together on the counter and made hammering motions with the other hand. The clerk brought him a hammer. He shook his head and pointed to the two fingers he was hammering. The clerk brought him nails. He picked out the sizes he wanted, and left. Well, doc, the next guy who came in was a blind man. He wanted scissors. How do you suppose he asked for them?”
Indulgently, I lifted my right hand and made scissoring motions with my first two fingers. Whereupon my auto-repair man laughed raucously and said, “Why, you dumb jerk, He used his voice and asked for them.” Then he said smugly, “I’ve been trying that on all my customers today.” “Did you catch many?” I asked. “Quite a few,” he said, “but I knew for sure I’d catch you.” “Why is that?” I asked. “Because you’re so goddamned educated, doc, I knew you couldn’t be very smart."
— Isaac Asimov (via skinnybaras)

zombres:

convolutedtrainofthought:

  • Irene wasn’t fridged
  • Irene wasn’t a victim
  • Irene wasn’t a generic love interest
  • Irene beat Sherlock
  • Irene took everyone’s preconceived notions of gender in criminals and lit them on fire
  • Irene was a completely unrepentant HBIC
  • Irene (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

#and joan beat irene